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Gavin Greig [userpic]

The Pandas of Emancipation

January 10th, 2011 (08:11 pm)
current location: KY16 8SX

Heroic journalism by the bravely desk-bound Deputy Editor of the Telegraph has exposed a fiendish Oriental plot to violate the blessed sanctity of the United Kingdom. Deadly guided pandas are to be dispatched to the rebel base of Corstorphine on the planet Edinburgh, from where the evil duly-elected leader of the Scotch peasant army, Alex Salmond, will be able to deploy them at will on a wicked charm offensive. It’s believed that the weapons of cuddly disruption could be deployed against English tourists within 45 seconds. Oi, China! It’s a black and white issue; don’t panda to these separatists!

A photograph of a Panda A photograph of Alex Salmond

Alex Salmond

A Panda

Also uncovered in the same story, it appears you can buy Wales cheap, if you fancy it; Benedict Brogan doesn’t.

What an idiot.

Comments

Posted by: Toby Atkin-Wright (tobyaw)
Posted at: January 10th, 2011 08:24 pm (UTC)

Brogan is somewhat unreliable on pandas. But pretty sound, I thought, when it comes to Wales.

Posted by: Gavin Greig (ggreig)
Posted at: January 10th, 2011 08:27 pm (UTC)
Penguin tank

I'll leave my Welsh readership to respond to that one, if he wishes.

Posted by: myceliumme (myceliumme)
Posted at: January 15th, 2011 12:21 pm (UTC)

What an idiot.
So are some of the commentators!

I feel sorry for the pandas: transplanted from their familiar surroundings to be gawked at by 'us'. Is this the Scottish version of extraordinary rendition? Or am I an idiot too?

Posted by: Gavin Greig (ggreig)
Posted at: January 17th, 2011 09:31 am (UTC)
Penguin tank

No, I have mixed feelings about zoos. Last time I visited one (Bristol, early 1990s) I was distinctly uncomfortable about it, and haven't chosen to go to one since.

On the plus side, they do help conservation and education, and apparently as far as the pandas are concerned the Scottish climate is close to what they're used to.

Reply a bit sluggish as my internet connection disappeared in the wee small hours of Friday morning and hasn't yet been restored (should come back today, hopefully).

Posted by: myceliumme (myceliumme)
Posted at: January 18th, 2011 09:05 pm (UTC)

Agreed about conservation (although with some reservation - probably due to lack of facts and personal bias). Ditto similarities of climate. Despite that, I have some concern that being taken from there to here would be disconcerting, even unpleasant for the pandas (and any other creatures so transplanted).

How's the (dis)connection?

Posted by: Gavin Greig (ggreig)
Posted at: January 18th, 2011 09:32 pm (UTC)
Vacant Podling

<Lightning FX> IT LIVES!!

Apparently a faulty card has been replaced at the exchange.

Posted by: Toby Atkin-Wright (tobyaw)
Posted at: January 18th, 2011 09:13 pm (UTC)

Can’t help thinking that farming may be a better form of long-term conservation than zoos: if there is a commercial imperative for pandas to breed, then there will be lots of little pandas.

Panda burger, anybody? Panda-fur sporran?

Posted by: jrtomlin (jrtomlin)
Posted at: February 6th, 2011 01:50 am (UTC)

Hmmm I would say that Salmond looks a bit chubbier and more black and white than the last time I watched the FMQ.

Posted by: Gavin Greig (ggreig)
Posted at: February 6th, 2011 09:56 am (UTC)

Ah, I wondered if you were the same J.R. Tomlin. Thanks for all your intelligent contributions to the debate.

I admit there is a slight possibility I may have mixed the photos up, but it's so difficult to tell the difference :-)

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